Lesson 1. Becoming a Better Me
본문 1-1 Dream Big, Start Small
What are your big dreams in life?
Perhaps your goal is to have a perfect body, complete a marathon, or become a best-selling author.
However, despite having a strong will to achieve these goals, you may find yourself giving up after just a few days.
Why Do I Keep Failing to Achieve My Goals?
Most of the time, we focus on our big goals.
Big goals are easy to visualize.
We can imagine ourselves feeling satisfied in front of the mirror, smiling at the finish line, or signing our books for our fans.
These big goals give us direction and purpose in our daily lives.
However, you should be careful that you don't bite off more than you can chew.
Rather than helping us, big goals can tempt us to make unrealistic changes to our lives.
For example, imagine that one day you decide to slim down like a supermodel.
For one week, you push yourself far too hard at the gym.
You injure your leg and need to take two weeks off to recover.
In the end, you gain weight instead of losing it.
Tiny Seeds Grow into Huge Trees
Think of the little habits that make up your day: stretching in the morning, feeding your pet, or brushing your teeth after meals.
These are small actions that you do every day, and over time, they form consistent patterns.
The problem is that these routines don't start feeling "automatic" until you have done them numerous times.
Before they become automatic, you have to put in a lot of effort to start them.
Moreover, the bigger a task seems, the more effort it requires, and the less likely you are to
complete it.
For example, you may say, "I'm going to run ten kilometers every day."
However, that is a big and sudden change.
So it is likely that your passion will fade, and you will quit in a few days.
The better approach is to start gently with small changes and build up gradually.
That is, you say, "I'm going to get off the bus one stop early and run home every day."
You will get used to running every day, and soon you might want to run more.
One day, you will find yourself running ten kilometers.
Change Your Lifestyle, Not Your Life
To attain your goal, you should focus on changing your lifestyle, not changing your life.
For instance, writing a best-selling novel would be life-changing; practicing creative writing for ten minutes every day would be a new type of lifestyle.
Can you see the difference?
The former is great for inspiring and guiding you, but you might feel it is out of reach.
On the other hand, the latter starts small.
Nonetheless, if you repeat it daily, it will eventually help you achieve your goal.
Changing your life is a big deal.
However, changing your daily habits is something small you can do.
The tinier your habit, the easier it is to stick to.
To be stronger and healthier, eat one extra serving of vegetables at every meal.
To become more knowledgeable, read one page of a book before bed.
One day, you will find yourself becoming the person you always wanted to be.
Remember, it is not big goals but daily habits that make your big dreams come true.
We need big dreams to keep our lives meaningful.
However, if we become obsessed only with big dreams, we may wake up one day thinking,
"This is overwhelming!
What is your big dream?
From there, make a goal for this year.
Then make a goal for this week.
Start with one manageable action a day.
Ask yourself, "What is one thing I can do today to take a step toward achieving my big dream?“
본문 1-2 Ask Alice: Advice for Teens
Dear Dr. Alice,
My best friend is smart, funny, and beautiful.
Whenever we are together, she gets everyone's attention.
I know it's not her fault, but I always compare myself to her and feel bad.
How can I overcome my jealousy toward her?
Sincerely, Michelle
Dear Michelle,
Comparing yourself to others may leave you feeling sad.
That's because we often compare the worst aspects of ourselves to the best aspects of others.
However, you should keep in mind that nobody has it all.
We are all individuals with unique looks, personalities, and talents.
When you start to admire and appreciate yourself, your envy toward your best friend will naturally disappear.
Most importantly, stop viewing life as a competition.
Another person's success doesn't mean you are failing.
Try to see other people's good news as something to celebrate.
Then their happiness will add to yours.
Best regards, Dr. Alice
Dear Dr. Alice,
I stay up late every night to study.
However, my grades don't reflect my effort.
I'm starting to feel stressed and frustrated with myself.
After every exam, I think I should have studied harder.
What can I do?
Yours truly, Henry
Dear Henry,
Clearly, you are studying hard, but I'm afraid that your strategy of staying up late at night won't help you.
In fact, long study sessions do not always guarantee good grades.
The secret to effective studying lies in putting forth the right kind of effort
― the "how" of studying, rather than the "how much."
We all have different learning styles.
For example, some people learn best not by reading but by listening.
Others learn best by writing down the things they learn.
Try some different study methods and find the most suitable one for you.
Also, if you sit for hours trying to absorb a lot of information, your brain will become exhausted and you won't be able to remember everything.
Make sure you take time to rest and review your work when you feel refreshed.
Warm wishes, Dr. Alice
Dear Dr. Alice,
These days, my relationship with my parents has changed.
They rarely seem to agree with me, so we fight more.
What's worse, my parents don't see me as a mature person.
I'm sick of arguing with them, and I'm sure my parents feel the same.
I want to fix this problem.
Sincerely yours, Jinho
Dear Jinho,
Feeling grown up but being treated like a child is challenging, so the adolescent years can be hard.
If you want to communicate well with your parents, try the following tips.
First, when you have a conversation with them, start by saying, "You are right."
This shows your parents that you value their point of view.
Also, it might help to spend some time thinking about your main points and writing them down.
Having an organized argument ready will help you remain calm and focused.
In addition, whatever you do, don't get upset and start yelling at your parents.
Instead, show them that you are capable of having a mature discussion.
In these ways, you can be seen as a mature person and you can also reduce the level of conflict with your parents.
Warm regards, Dr. Alice
